a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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