I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
