I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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