They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
