I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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