I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
