Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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