I'm really into asian looking animals
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
