Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
