i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
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The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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