Sponge bath it is.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
