Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
