Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
