my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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