so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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