come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
