yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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