This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
