he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
