let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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