he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
PANTIES FOUND
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