he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
only if we run a train.
done.
well you can't waste a boner
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
