i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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