I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
