weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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