i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
