GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My feet surprised me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
