Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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