it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
