I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
