"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
