Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My feet surprised me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
