We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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