I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
