You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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