you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize