Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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