also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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