Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Text me some of your sweat
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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