she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
