im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
