That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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