so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
