Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
