Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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