Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
