I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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