yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
