At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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