Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
