these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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