Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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