textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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