i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
