we have officially lost it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
