Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
