Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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