this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
