An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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